So, Rob can’t believe we’re watching this, but I am making him while I rip CDs to my computer and he loads the bookcase with records.

8:10 PM- My thoughts so far are: Ugh. Alicia Keys in a Frank Sinatra duet. Let the dead man be! Love Alicia Keys’ dress though. My boobs couldn’t do that. Carrie Underwood looked hot. Rob added a lyric about the police coming after her after she takes the Louisville Slugger to the guy’s car because she’s a crazy bitch.

8:18 PM- Seriously, is this going to be a night of duets/mash-ups/medleys? Because WTF does Rihanna have to do with Morris Day and the Time? Props? He had a mirror and she had an umbrella? This does not bode well. I at least hope since they’re letting her do two songs, they’ll let The Time do “The Bird”.

8:25 PM- A Beatles tribute. OK, I dig the Cirque de Soleil LOVE thing. Rob said they haven’t shown any Yoko/Ringo cutaway shots is “because it’s not that exciting watching people counting a big stack of money”. I haven’t seen Across the Universe yet. So far, meh. I mean, it’s not that much of a stretch to make “Let it Be” a gospel song.

8:34 PM- Really? Miley Cyrus and Cyndi Lauper? Cyndi Lauper talks like she’s in Little Shop of Horrors. Yay, Amy Winehouse- Best New Artist!

8:47 PM- Kanye brings it! He said he’d do anything for a Klondike bar. LOL. Rob is the best Grammy predictor because he totally called that this “duet” performance would include Daft Punk. Dude, it looks like Tron. I love it. Fave performance so far. This will be hard to top IMO. Awwwww…I’m gonna cry for Kanye doing the mama song. Rob said, “why would he get two songs?” and I told him it was cause his mom died.

I’m gonna put the rest of my ongoing Grammy thoughts after the break, so click on to read more. And yes, Carisse, I agree that Alicia Keys never has good hair. It’s ALWAYS weird.

8:53 PM- You can pee now. It’s just Fergie and John Legend. Little pitchy there Stacy Ferg. You need the autotune. She really does have some meth face though. Yay, LOVE won for best soundtrack! I love George Martin! And I love Ringo. Happy for them!

9:03 PM- Cher looks great! Beyonce, a performance shouldn’t need narration. Ugh. Aretha’s probably gonna come out here soon. Oh good. Tina Turner. I love her. She’s a little throaty though. I saw her live and she rocked! Lionel Richie opened and he was awesome too. Why do I feel a “Proud Mary” coming with Beyonce and Tina?

I was trying to see if Tina’s curly-haired backup singer was Gloria Reuben from ER because she went on tour with her on Tina’s last tour. Oh, and I called it on “Proud Mary”. Beyonce is going to ruin this, I have the feeling.

Um, I swear that it looked like Tina had to step back because Beyonce was trying to push her off the stage. It actually wasn’t as bad as I thought it would be. Beyonce reined it in pretty well.

9:14 PM- Andy Williams looks good, but sounds bad. And I swear that Burt Bacharach already was a lifetime achievement guy a few years ago (remember that thing with Alicia Keys and Dionne Warwick?), but I guess they just did a tribute. Yay Amy again! Wonder if she’ll change the lyrics to “Rehab” from no, no, no to yes, yes, yes. Yeah, I know that was obvious.

9:21 PM- This My Grammy Moment thing is kinda stupid. First,m what does Jason bateman have to do with this? Is he on a CBS show? Is that why? And of course the hot asian classical rock with a twist chick was going to win. Hot asian chicks always win.

9:27 PM- Dude, wait til you see Aretha. I saw a pic of her from like yesterday or something. She is like HUUUUUGE. I will be curious to see how she sings.

9:34 PM- Brad Paisley is cute, but country’s not my bag. Well, let me rephrase that. This song sucks. Let me check you for ticks? Modern country is sucky.

9:39 PM- Awwww…poor Kanye missing his mom watching him win another Grammy. His jacket is so awesome. Ha! He called them out on stopping the music when he talked about his mom.

9:46 PM- OK, I’m just glad it’s not Aretha with Amy Winehouse. Oh, and Aretha actually looks really good in that yellow dress. Much better than the pic of her I saw on Perez from Friday.

9:58 PM- Feist. Thank Steve Jobs and Apple if you win. But you won’t, so enjoy your moment. Also, notice how many people nominated for Best New Artist have had a career awhile. Feist, Amy Winehouse, Carrie Underwood. I’m pretty sure Carrie Underwood already won a Grammy last year so shouldn’t that preclude her from being nominated for Best New Artist? Edit: Oh, that was Taylor Swift.  Blond and country. My bad. Oh, and Keely Smith and Kid Rock? She has aged REALLY well. But please no Keely and Kid Rock. Ugh.

Rob just noted that Kid Rock is doing Louis Prima in the style of David Lee Roth. they should have just gotten DLR. THAT would have been cool. LOL.

10:05 PM- Is Pat Smear back in the Foo Fighters and if so he’s gained a little.

10:10 PM- UM, I still don’t understand why these Life Water people needed Naomi Campbell to dance Thriller with the lizards. She was totally superfluous in that commercial.

10:12 PM- I think Stevie Wonder always sings in introductions and awards presentations. Yay, Alicia Keys took her hair down from that fug updo she had at the beginning of the show.

10:16 PM- Mmmmmmm…..John Mayer….drooooool. HAWT!

Wow…Dave Stewart and Ringo could stand in for each other. Same hair, facial hair, and sunglasses. Ringo’s blingier though. But that’s cause he’s rollin’ in phat Beatles cash. High point for Vince Gill, award for sucky country album presented by Ringo.

10:20 PM- Oh, and it’s really time to stop milking the whole Amy Winehouse performance. It’s like 3:20 AM there. Which is probably Wino’s prime time, but c’mon already!

10:27 PM- Oh look! Dueling pianos! How original, NARAS! :eye roll: Herbie Hancock has aged well, and I’m always down for Gershwin.

10:35 PM- I like the Jay-Z translating Rihanna. This might be the only way she wins though, cause it looks like a Winehouse night. Alright, now it should be wrapping up soon. Can they really not wrap these things up by the 11 o’clock news?

10:40 PM- I kind of like that “Cha Cha Slide” Mickey D’s commercial. Thank G-d! Amy Winehouse finally!

10:43 PM- Oooh! Did you notice the little shout to her husband in the clink? Blake? Amy is rockin’ it! It’s so nice to see life in her eyes. Awwwwww.

10:47 PM- Man she killed it! I hope this isn’t one of those high points before a major low on a Behind the Music for her. Please let it be a comeback.

Man, I’m kind of sick of Tony Bennett. Awwww…Doris Day. I wanted my recessional with Rob at our wedding to be “Que Sera, Sera” but he vetoed it.

10:50 PM- Yay Amy! Record of the Year! The Hawley Arms in Camden Town burnt down this weekend, as did a bunch of Camden Market stalls. That’s what she meant about Camden Town burning down.

11:01 PM- NARAS guy talking about all the good things they do with the bank they make ripping off artists. And now the dead people. Awwww. “Nessun Dorma” ends it of course. The fat man sang and now all the Italian housewives are going to cream with a Bocelli/Groban duet/tribute to Pavarotti.

11:15 PM- The Groban/Bocelli was lame IMO. I expected more from them. Jerry Lee Lewis sounds bad, but he’s been doig this for 50 years so I’ll cut him slack. Fogerty’s sounded better too. And did you know that Kenny Aronoff has been his drummer for almost as long as he was Mellencamp’s drummer? We had a professor in college who blamed Kenny Aronoff for drums being too loud on 80’s pop and rock records. Little Richard looks plastic, but he sounds decent. I really hope this is over soon though, because I don’t know if there’s anything worthy of airtime left.

11:26 PM- Boy this will.i.am thing would have been better earlier in the show. I mean, people just want to party or sleep at this point. Like, are there still awards to give out? Right now I’m thinking hey should have had the Amy Winehouse performance, presented Record of the Year, and called it a night. Oh, Mark Ronson won Producer of the Year. Imagine that- he produced Amy Winehouse and Lily Allen. OK, this is either going to Amy Winehouse or Kanye. Man, everyone is calling out Kanye. WHAT? Herbie Hancock? Is he dying or something that they thought they needed to give him an award? ROBBED!!!

11:37 PM- Rob is now in the other room and I told him that Herbie Hancock won. His answer was of course they gave it to a veteran, especially for an album of Joni Mitchell covers. He said, all it needed was Bonnie Raitt. LOL. I would have rather seen the Cirque de Soleil end than all these commercials and then the credits real quick. Ok, the news is on. It’s over.

FINAL THOUGHTS: Well, Kanye and Amy Winehouse were the highlights. Historically, they drop the ball and give Album of the Year to a veteran, so I’ll forgive them that. It seeemed front-loaded and in need of some editing. I give it a 6.5 overall. Kanye (10), Wino (10), Tina Turner (9, because it would have been better w/o Beyonce), Alicia Keys (9-solo, not with a dead man) kept that from dipping lower. And having a Beatle there helped.